You asked me specifically about whether it would be a good idea if your daughters dad would do mroe of the boring stuff with your daugther and not just you. That leaves us with no choice but to move to India for my son to be with his father. Congratulations on your little daughter! Never has. When my husband comes home she runs to greet him. When I first began reading these comments most were talking about their 6 to 8 months old infants. That was quite hard, when I was feeling like I was being rejected and that I was doing something wrong. Everyone eeps telling me that he loves me and he did miss me but it doesnt feel like it. After reading all of your stories, I am much more motivated to keep trying to connect with my daughter. My gal is nw 8 1/2 mths . This is probably one of the most important things that helps to deal with working mom anxiety. when were alone its great but as soon as he sees her he acts like thats his mom. Leaning back while breastfeeding helps slow the flow. If you are going back to work at 6 weeks, you could start introducing your baby to a bottle about two weeks beforehand. Fight for your baby. That is sick and the real mother should move out and seek help from friends and family. Sometimes she does it to my partner but seems only to attack me more. I have a 11 month old little girl. She does not have any memories of you crying and even if she did, she wouldnt hate you for it. Hi, tis always lead me n my husband to quarrel ..i cant slp goes i am really very very deep down crying n dying. Congratulations on your little daughter. I often wonder if day care would be a better option. Most nursing strikes are over, with the baby back to breastfeeding, within two to four days. Cared for her, loved her, played with her, etc. Or I bundle them together, rather than giving each one of them time. It has been 37 years and we are not close. Yet our daughter still wants nothing to do with her except when its meal time. Im a very good mom, so why doesnt she see that? According the U.S. Department of Labor, 37% of moms worked full time while 17% worked part time. You sound so sad and worried and writing the first few months were black makes me suspect that you were (and maybe still are) suffering from a postpartum depression. Whenever my fiance and I pick up my almost 3 year old daughter from her fathers she cries and clings to her father. I breastfeed and she doesnt like when I look at her or she will fuss again. I feel like she doesnt need me at all, she doesnt care if i am around or not, when her dad comes to see her she gets happy and he only comes once a week and sometimes he wont come for 2 weeks!!! I just know it can be the case no matter what you do. i have a baby girl who is now almost a month old. Please help! I know that nobody is going to want to hear this but your relationship with your child might never be the same if you just ignore it. This baffles me. We share all parenting tasks equally, so it isnt as if he spends more time with her, though he was with her for a few months before he went to daycare (3-6 months). It feels like going back to work is a relief, so I can just..get out of her life and let daddy make her happy. lately, i feel so depressed and down, because my boys seem to prefer they nannies over me. I hear a lot of guilt in what you write. You sound like a fabulous mom. I do everything my mother does yet apparently I dont love her enough!! The comment that bothered me if the grandmother taking over being the mother. Such a silly situation. Thanks, Mai!!! If you buy something through a link on this site, I may receive a small commission. Praise your wife when she manages to be cool about it it isnt easy! But, I do know I cant wallow. Try Bottle Feeding a Drowsy Baby. In addition, I really think you should start reading books about adoption if you havent already. Moms Question: And you seem to interpret your daughters behavior as if she is blaming you. One is of course that you and your wife need to start talking to each other on how to raise your child. A very sleepy baby may accept a bottle without even realizing it, so if your baby's resisting, try slipping in that target near the end of a nap, when she's still half asleep. thank you to anonymous who wrote most recently saying that it has gotten better. She doesnt come when i call out to her. My son is 18 mos old. I hope its just a phase. Create a soothing atmosphere 3. For example, dinner time could be a point in time where after your mom stays away from your daughter as much as possible. So they want to carried around the clock, wont play by themselves, cant be handed over to anyone else but mom or possibly dad without screaming like there was no tomorrow. First, talk to your mom about how you feel. She wants me over anybody except when they are around. Quick message to Laura- After her leather boots and Gucci throw shopping spree she was obviously not able to pay her rent. Please help..I think I am loosing my mind.. If you are off balance, she might notice and you thereby reinforce the rejection. They might have some preference at 1 point or the other, bt just continue loving them and they wd return it back eventually. Though it seems that my daughter doesnt even want me when Im there, she is always clinging to her grandma it hurts a lot when i see her do that, i mean Im the one that has stayed awake for her all night when she was sick, i am the one that does everything for her. Im at the end of the road and i dont know what to do. What can I do? I have come on to this site to read these postings a couple times over the past couple months and while I am relieved to see that I am not the only one, I want to know why this is happening? Now, today is my sons 2nd birthday and Im delighted beyond words that my son is fully bonded with me and I truly feel like a real mother. It did not used to be this way she used to be very attached to me. If this board is any indication it happens quite a bit. Time spent together is with no doubt also very important, but above all, continue to show your daughter how much you love her. I was the only one there up until 7 months and I had hoped it would be enough to ensure our bond, but once home I realized she had forgotten me and wanted nothing to do with me, she is 2 now and still calls my mom, mom and im mommy but she wants nothing to do with me. When daddy is the bored or tired of this the he conveniently disappears and I take over. I dont think putting your whole life in a more stressful state by moving should be your first choice, in case living with your mom works well in all other aspects. It really hurts. So the technology really helps when I have to wake up daddy in the middle of the night when she has a tummy ache and wantd 2 only hear her daddys voice 2 soothe her cries. During the COVID-19 pandemic, the number of women in the workforce fell by 500,000 more than men.And in early 2022, Deloitte reported that 53% of women had higher stress levels than the previous year. Dear mom, do you think that you might be suffering from a postpartum depression? My Baby Doesnt Want Me and Im The Mom!? Around 12 weeks or so, speak with your boss about the details of your maternity leave. Is my life set for me, and I meant to be rejected by everyone. All of a sudden our 9 month old son seems to prefer his daddy over me. But all this can be easily changed! The weird thing is when I pick her up she whines and clings to her dad and when I put her in the car she is fine and talking 10 mins down the road.. is this the transition between both parents? With more time spent doing other things (or doing nothing), you are more likely to be able to stay calm, be patient and so one when she is putting up a fight. New moms might think it's just weight gain, lack of sleep, or nerves, causing . Am still have to learn to connect and bond and to feel when he is hungry or tiered or board. Please help me out of this. I hate the feeling of being rejected by my only child to the point where I dont even want her. But I believe it can be solved. When I pick her up from her caregivers house after work, I am so excited because I count down the minutes until I see my precious baby only to get her in my arms and have her reach out for her caregiver. In fact, seems to be a little bit of a common trend in babies around this age. And when he wakes up at night he always looks for his dad and when I want to hold him he pushes my hands away. I am not working and its just because of her that i am not working. Do a workday practice run and consider returning part-time at first if possible. I work full time and my one-year-old goes to daycare 3 days per week and stays at home with her dad 2 days per week. Though it is nice to know Im not the only one to suffer from a similar situation, it doesnt solve it. She even slapped me in the face. He even says lots of words including daddy, bruh bruh for his brother, nana, papa, juice, more, he even says my niece and nephews names, Michael and Mattie, but he has never said momma! If you can accept that OK, right now she prefers her dad, but that doesnt mean that I am bad or that she hates me. 11. This is NOT just a phase. She would be able to go years without knowing anything about us. even when am not with her she plays with her grand mother or even neighbors. It will pass. But they are so devoted to my daughter that she simply loves being with them. I am depressed. You are and always will be their only mother. she doesnt want him to hold her or talk to him. When I first read about it, I thought it sounded crazy just 15 minutes! And since you have been at home with him, youre not very exciting. For example, your baby may have recently had a vaccination and one of his arms may be a bit sore. :) :) :). Since leaving home 2 go 2 Asia when our baby was 7 months, our internet routine continued. I have never been away from her for more than 2 hours before this and now she doesnt even care to see me. I am so in love with my son but am so heartbroken by this! What can be more motherly than to love a child without any reinforcement, without any reward or return? The earlier you start looking, the better. My relationship with my son isnt the same anymore. At 15 months, she lives in the present. We should all hold our heads up with pride at what AWESOME mothers and fathers we are, how dearly we love our children. What he really needs might be to have more fun and more time with his dad. She also wont let me give her the bedtime bottle- she screams- it has to be done by Daddy. Im assuming this is not the case with you, obviously. Very hard, even. He also loves his father and grandmother. I work full time and travel quite a bit during the summer, up to a week at a time. Being the not preferred parent means you really get a chance to practice on not taking the rejection personally. It makes me feel that its just a natural thing for some children to have a preference, but I hope it is just a phase cause I cant cope with it. Plan pumping while at work. Lots of hugs and squeezes, even when she is wriggling and squirming. Pls help. Read on for tips on how to make it work for you and your baby. My Postpartum Depression Made Me Reject My Baby. Dripping a bit of breast milk from the bottle into your baby's mouth can help. Try carrying your baby's photo with you at your workplace. And a good and warm relationship between you and your daughter will benefit all of you. If you are even in the vicinity of your daughter when the nanny is there, she will scream for you and you alone. I work the whole day so hard for my daughter. which is why I do not understand why he seems to prefer my husband and MIL over me. But as soon as Daddy is home, I really become part of the furniture. My husband and mother care for him while Im gone (Mon-Fri 12-7pm). I understand what you are saying about your little girl. Some moms return to work just a few weeks after having a baby, while others take up to a year (or longer) of maternity leave. If i let her have her way, ill never get to be with her because she never wants me. (, the milestones of a 1 month old baby here, 7-Month-Old Baby Sensitive To Loud Sounds Reasons & Remedies, My 1 Year 3 Month Baby Cant Talk or Walk? dont get me wrong, she just doesnt seem to have any kind of attachment to me at all.it makes me feel worthlesssomeone replaceableis this something that will pass, or should I talk to her doctor? Reading the entries and knowing that others are going through the same thing somehow makes me feel a little better. But in about a week things changed, and he was starting to want me again. Use this time to get down on the floor and play with her, take a bath together, read her a story, curl up in bed and tell her a bed story or sing to her or do whatever she loves doing. Try movement like rocking 4. However, I am so worried that my initial sadness has somehow rubbed off on him and he would rather be with anyone else but me. I am a house mum now and have been all my sons life. My daughter is now almost 10 months old and cries even when I walk by. I feel like a failure when it comes to being a mom. Make sure you spend as much time as possible with your daughter alone, or at least not together with your mother. The bond is there, and you obviously love her very much. If anything, it will harm the situation more. Then try some of these methods: 1. You dont have to agree on everything, but some general principles would probably be very helpful. I am happy to report that he is now 12 months old and has really come to be much more bonded to me, though again he prefers my partner if hes offered a choice between the two of us. I am an older mom (41 years old). As there are lots of conflicting priorities, it is hard to say when it is the right time. Hi I have a grandson 22 months old which I adore and see him most days. If your wife would show photos with you holding your girls and let the songs play at bedtime, for example, it could be a warm way for them to keep you in mind while you are not around. 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